metrosmatthew

Random listing

2006-07-07T16:52:35Z

Recently I have found myself browsing craigslist for needed camp items and had come across several interesting ads, a Bat suit (y'know from Batman), 8 foot tall wheeled penis large enough for two, etc, etc. The best part was they were all for free. Then the wacky ads went on holiday. Now they seem to be coming back, so I thought I would share.

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http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/zip/179292970.html

This ad contains 99 explanation points! My crap is just that good!!! (western addition)

Reply to: sale-179292970@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-07, 5:53AM PDT

Won't somebody please take my crap?!? Today's your lucky day (if you have a very loose defination of the word "lucky")!!! I'm moving up north and I'm taking only the stuff that will fit into my economy sized sedan and leaving all the rest of my crap here in San Francisco! Some people would simply throw away all their accumulated crap that no one else could concievably want, but luckily for you I am much more generous than that and am willing to just give it all away!!! But you better act fast, because garbage day is just around the corner, and you don't want to live the rest of your life regretting the crap that you could have had!
Over the course of the last few years I have accumlated all sorts of interesting bits of crap with a cash value of slightly over $0 which I am nonetheless willing to give to you for $0!!! Check out the great deals below:
-playstation 1 (sans power chord): I got this great piece of machinery for free from a friend who no longer wanted it but never actually got around to plugging it in due to my lack of games; perfect for the gamer already in possetion of PS1 games, controller and power chord but missing the actual console!!!
-For the acedemics out there I have a color printer: I lost the instalation disk to this but miraculously it still works on my computer without ever having been installed, there's no black ink but there's plenty of cyan and yellow (I never had occasion to test the magenta ink, so if it's there think of it as an extra bonus)!!!
-Alarm Clock/ Radio: I've never actually plugged this in (I personally believe that punctuality is just a polite form of dishonesty) but I assure you that it works great. It was left at my house by a former couch surfer acquaintence of mine and when they used it was able to wake me up from 2 rooms over, so if you like loud repetive beeping noises which go off at your command this is perfect for you!!!
-Stickers!!! We all love stickers! Wouldn't you love some stickers?!
-Candles (slightly melted). Perfect for romantics and pyromaniacs alike!
-Old phone boooks and calanders. Sure it's not 2003 today, but who knows what the future could bring?
-Swivel chair. It rotates, it rocks, it rolls, it adjusts up and down and it creaks! This is by far the cream of my crop of crap! It great for sitting on and even better for piling laundry on. Warning: do not use this in place of a ladder or step stool, I have learned and relearned this lesson the hard way.
-Large bottle of Tylenol. Free brandname over the counter drugs (that's totally worth 7 explenation points)!!!!!!! (sorry this has been taken.
-Recipts for virtually every purchase I've made in the last 3 years. I don't condone or advise cheating on your taxes, but if you're going to risk it then these could come in handy.
-A bag of phone chords. Individually none of these chords stretch very long, but splice them together and they'd measure longer than a your intestines!!!
-Empty jars. Perfect for storing virtually anything which can fit in an empty jar!! I also have empty film canisters!
-grocery bags. I have both paper and platic!! Store stuff in them or return them to the grocery store and everyone will think that you're a recycling hero!!
-perishable food items. Milk, cheese, half full jar of pasta suace and even some fruit! I also have frozen dinners (it's not delivery, it's not digiorno , it's trader joe's brand frozen pizza)!!!
-a coupon good for a free coffee or dessert drink at Ghiredelli!!!
-a jar of pennies!!!!!!!! That's right, I'm actually giving away cash!!!!!! This jar also contains quite a few nickels and dimes, very few quarters, foreign money of indeterminate value (including a coin with a two headed eagle, a must see) and arcade tokens from the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry these items have been taken).
-and much much more

If you're anything like me you must be skeptical of an offer that sounds too good to be true, but I assure you that this is in fact a real offer. I am not some fake-Nigerian-business-man-con-artist and you do not to make any wire transfers to take advantage of this offer!!! All you have to do is come over to my place and all this crap could be yours (I might even carry it downstairs for you if you ask nicely)!!! Act now, supplies are limited!!!

Kaleidoscope

2006-06-16T20:13:27Z

http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/zip/172286273.html

Reply to: sale-172286273@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-16, 12:30PM PDT

This is a very pretty Kaleidoscope. The brass needs polishing, but otherwise, it is in perfect condition.
It is made of a decorated brass tube with two independently spinning discs at the end. It does not come apart. The brass rimmed discs are made with melted pieces of glass and metal. The kaleidoscope sits atop an oak stand.

The brass tube and discs are 10.5" long. It is 4" high when sitting on stand. The discs are 3.5" across.

This would make a very nice gift.

Wine Corks

2006-06-15T00:48:32Z

http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/zip/171654517.html

Reply to: sale-171654517@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-14, 5:17PM PDT

Do you have any use for about 40 wine corks? I hate throwing them away, but also have no plans to do anything with them. They are yours free if you will come pick them up!

May the Fourth be with you

2006-05-04T14:45:56Z

and fabuous birthday wishes to bettyscout

Yellow notepad

2006-03-26T16:09:44Z

Many thanks to all those who showed up to help aerinys and myself move on Saturday. Thai food cannot adequately express our appreciation of your help.

We did find a yellow note pad on the floor after you had departed, it was where Madhatter was siting. Is it his? yours? We'd like to see it get home safely.

Have you heard of Prussian Blue?

2006-03-15T17:11:03Z

http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_4207

"Lamb and Lynx Gaede are like a lot of 13-year-old girls. Except that they love Hitler and sing songs glorifying white supremacy."

I'm not really sure what else to say...

WTF is up with these people?

Doors

2006-03-09T19:09:45Z

It is nearly the end of the second week at work and I have made an astounding discovery, with regard to office doors. Generally the office doors are the slide style and are mounted on the exterior of the offices. Mine is different. Although it is a slide style, the door itself is mounted inside of the office. A quick inspection of the other offices on my floor suggests this is a unique feature.

Work is going well otherwise. A steady stream of office products arrive to help me organize and become increasingly productive.

ooo, I did break the company-provided laptop this week. An older model with slightly stiff hinges. Well the hinges were stiff. When I opened it a few days ago.... they freed up entirely, nearly separating the screen from the remainder of the computer.

Meanwhile back east...

2006-03-04T15:38:46Z

As I was checking CNN for headlines I saw that my former place of residence had made the news...
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/03/bike.ohio.ap/index.html because of a sticker on a bike. or as CNN put it
School gets punk'd by band sticker
http://www.plan-it-x.com/tbiapb/

Good time all around it would seem.

My first week of work at the new job has come to an end. Although still befuddled on corporate procedures to do pretty much anything I think it went well. Aside from the lesser number of vacation days the transition to a more corporate environment from an academic one has not been too much a shock to the system.

Hoping to make some progress on the bus this weekend as more parts are en route..

I won the lottery !!!

2006-02-25T10:02:53Z

After checking the numbers on my tickets I found that I won $9 in the recent megamillions lotto drawing. I guess the bad news would be that the tickets cost $10.

Maybe there will be more to celebrate after Tuesday.

Why goats faint

2006-02-20T06:50:19Z

http://www.whoomp.com/articles/207/1/Fainting-Goat-Video

Paul van Dyk, Jedi Mind Tricks, and Sushi

2006-02-19T20:57:59Z

Last night was the next step in my quest to see the top ten DJ's in as close to a year as possible. It began at Burningman 2005 with Tiesto and Oakenfold. A few weeks later Armin van Buuren. Digweed was about the start of the year, Ferry Corsten in March and last night was Paul van Dyk. This leaved ATB, Carl Cox, Deep Dish and Sasha. The show at 1015 was fun, but way hot and crowded. 1015 is one of the largest clubs I have visited, 3 floors, 4 venues, one price. aerinys and I, as well as about 10 other friends decided to buy VIP tix. For the extra $20 we had free drinks till midnight and sushi till 11. The drinks were standard club fare. The sushi, was also standard club fare. I had one piece of sushi then decidedly drank the rest of the night away. In addition to buying tickets, I happened to win two more from a local radio station promotion. Sadly they were not VIP class. Friends Mike and Olga had the night free and joined us for the show. Through the use of jedi mind tricks they were able to get VIP access!!!

And in a bit of odd news an article from Herbal Love that describes the drawbacks of excessive masturbation. http://www.herballove.com/library/resource/overmas/fatal.asp

But in a report from the BBC seems masturbation can also cure cancer... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

What to do... what to do...

Bus

2006-02-17T23:05:18Z

As aerinys noted there is now a bus bus68 about. We have decided to keep a journal to document progress and also get your suggestions for changes....

Once the bus is ready expect more on the adventures and party planing than the droll fixin' stuff.

Employment

2006-02-17T18:59:19Z

Finally... It is done. I have a non contract position.

Yeah...

We're sorry that you didn't win one of the prizes, and hope that you'll try again. In the meantime,

2006-02-15T17:04:22Z

I buy Dannon yogurt. I eat it. I enter in the secret code. Yet....

Decisiveness, Creativity, and Green

2006-02-15T17:00:56Z

New Year's resolutions...
For 2005 I decided on a course of action that would make Nike proud. Something akin to "Just do it" was my motto. This mindset smoothed the way for me to run a marathon, go sky-diving, finally make it to Burningman, and move to San Francisco, among other things.

Decisiveness is the one giving the most trouble. I recently heard that a true Samurai takes no more than 9 seconds to make a decision, any more time than that is a waste. My goal is to at least avoid the "So where do you want to eat, I dunno where do you wanna go" recursive conversations.

Extreme ironing

2005-12-17T19:36:01Z

I had no idea

http://www.extremeironing.com/

Tag - I'm it...

2005-12-14T02:19:01Z

Name 5 of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick 5 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

1. Something new; Be it sky diving, living in a new city, or staring at my lover's face until I see it in a way I have never before
2. Dance and movement
3. Creation - mine or from another...
4. Green. I like it.
5. Music.

So there with little explanation is my five. Sometimes I know why I like them othertimes I go with it.

Now for selecting the five people remaining who have yet to meme...

toastmantom dethtonge redshrike seismic cheezaddict

Resolutions: Past and future

2005-12-08T01:38:45Z

I have been thinking about the coming new year and the traditions of making new year's resolutions.

For 2005 I decided it was to be my year of "doing things." Instead of waffling on an idea or in a situation my default response was to do it. This has led me to (most notably): Be at the NYE celebration 2005, complete a marathon, go to Burning Man, try sky diving, and move to San Francisco. I think that I have made the mental adjustment to continue for the foreseeable future.

What then for 2006... The themes of "creativity" and "completion" come to mind. I find these two are intertwined and also enhance the theme from 2005. So unless inspiration strikes, (or if inspiration strikes) this it shall be for 2006.

Cat shaped depression

2005-12-01T18:50:29Z

I am spending most of my time these days in front of the computer with the cat resting on my midsection, submitting my resume to various hopeful employers. Yesterday afternoon a call came in for an interview. It is to be Monday next, so i have slightly more than a week. It is for a web design position.. go me.

Aside from most of my clothes, a few coats and pairs of shoes, and bits of computer equipment, I have discovered that all that I own fits into a 4x6x8 storage unit. (the car doesn't fit either)

Speaking of transportation, the Mercedes dealer at Van Ness and Geary has a Smart car in the showroom (http://www.smart.com) they are thinking about offering this line for sale in the next year should they get enough positive feedback. I have seen these when I was visiting Toronto over the summer and cannot wait to take a closer look. Parking would be much easier, and they get 45/65 mpg!

Time to rotate the cat.

2500 miles of fun

2005-11-28T19:29:02Z

And now for the rest of the story....

The journey to San Francisco began Wednesday (Nov 23) in the afternoon. Snow was falling and I was glad to be heading west. Aerinys checked the weather and then we were off, pausing in Columbus, Ohio only briefly for some food. My recollection is that this first day was largely uneventful, other accounts may vary. We spent the night in Peoria Illinois, on the juncture of the midwest and the great plains.

The second days travel was to uncover one of Aerinys more esoteric talents. She is able to disassemble and reassemble the dash of the mustang using only a pocket knife and a few items commonly found at a truck stop while the car is traveling at speeds over 70 mph. "Why?" I hear you cry... well I'm glad you asked for the cd player suffered catastrophic failure, trapping four of the six cds inside and refusing to play, eject, etc. Not only was she able to successfully extract the cds from the now defunct unit she did so without destructive measures to audio device, car, or driver.

Having put the great plains behind us we spent the next night in Cheyenne, Wyoming. What a windy day. Car and trailer were continually buffeted about. Could see the beginning of the rocky mountains. The interesting fact of the day focused in the pressures generated inside of penguins (http://flow.arrr.net/penguins.pdf) Soon Utah was upon us, and we paused for longer than expected at Ruby Tuesdays in Park City. The upside of having my dinner messed up was a free dinner and a free dessert. That brought up an etiquette question about the appropriate amount to tip Tracie, our waitress. Would you base the tip on the amount of the bill presented, or the amount it would have been before the discount? With Aerinys behind the wheel, we drove down the Wasatch mountains into Salt Lake City, finding the lake effect precipitation was in the house. Rain and occasional snow flurries dogged our travel for the next hour or so. Stopping in West Wendover, Nevada for fuel the snow picked up and we pressed on, uphill now, toward Elko or Reno. Snow began to fall more consistently and we passed a sign suggesting that further progress would require snow tires or chains. We drove on, slightly apprehensive. At what looked to be the summit Aerinys and I switched places. I became pilot for the decent. Although our vehicle did skid a little when I slammed on the breaks at the rest area to check road conditions, it was nothing too much. I was more apprehensive in not knowing the geography and the lack of information concerning weather. As we descended the snow tapered off and subsided completely. Reno was 300 miles further on so we rested that night in Elko.

Poking our heads outside the hotel room in the morning we observed the snow had followed us and blanketed the area with about 2 inches of white, slightly wet, good for packing goodness. The roads were clear, but slightly wet. Turning back on to interstate 80 we took note of the surrounding mountains and that our road was beginning to slant uphill once again. We passed another one of those signs suggesting snow tires or chains. The falling snow would continue until we completed our descent. Ever slower we drove on. As we were slowing down the trailer displayed its contempt for traction in the snow, making our rear end wiggle in a most discomforting manner. Decelerating to 10 mph proved to ease our nerves and keep car and trailer firmly planted to the ever increasingly snow covered road. We continued up. For me that was the scarier part, while we were going uphill. I was worried that the rear wheels would lose traction and we would stop or worse slide backward. That never happened. Our downward travel did not trouble me, except for this one point. Would you believe that most every other person felt it safe to race along the same highway at speeds in excess of 50 mph, and I am fairly certain that a few felt the need to disregard the speed limit signs altogether? This almost proved to be the end of out trip west. I caught in the side mirror a black SUV similar to a GMC Jimmy slide perpendicular to the highway before careening into the median strip and ending up on the berm of the opposing lanes of traffic. They seemed unhurt though slightly shaken as they drove on the berm against traffic for about a minute or so before turning about. That was not the end of our fun.
What should I see next? A small copper colored car, of similar size and shape as a Kia, bearing Nebraska license plates. One would think that Nebraskans have experience driving in the snow, and rightly so, I think it was the hill that buggered him up. I see his too rapid approach in my side mirror. He swerves and skids, I lose sight of him as the trailer obscures my view. I may have made a comment to Aerinys regarding our impending doom, she had been fairly calmly resting in the paSsenger seat up till then. I see the copper Kia on in my right mirror, the car now mostly sideways but point to back to the left. Gone again behind the trailer. I brace for impact. Nebraska missed us, but seemed unnaturally attracted to the guardrail on the left. Somehow enough control was resorted to keep the Kia from colliding and then spinning into our path. Having failed to crash into us twice already, Nebraska goes once more the the direct approach, attempting to slide into the drivers side front fender. Our shields held and the copper Kia scooted past, soon lost in the falling snow. Shortly thereafter we passed a sign indicating it was now safe to remove chains. The snowfall faded away and the sun broke through. We celebrated with some dark chocolate Pocky (Men's Pocky).

A break in Reno for some Chinese food and then onward through Donner Pass and to California!! The weather was clear and sunny making our traverse of the Lake Tahoe region mostly pleasant. Traffic from Sacramento to Vallejo was thick and slow. But the crossing of the Bay bridge was painless. (but it costs $5 when you have a trailer).

I may have forgotten a few things, exaggerated on a few others, but overall this is how it happened, only shorter.

!!!! Arrived !!!!

2005-11-27T05:07:21Z

Made it to the city moments ago.

Come back later for the rest of the story.

Journey begins

2005-11-23T03:58:40Z

The apartment is packed. Aerinys is on the plane winging her way to Ohio. In a few moments I will disconnect my Internet connection and pack the last bits away. If all goes will we will arrive in San Francisco by Saturday.

Until then.

Killer Drinks

2005-11-18T19:34:01Z

The story goes:

A student approaches one of the chemistry professors with a chemistry, but not class related question. It seems that over the past weekend there was some drinking going on . With a large quantity of 151 Rum being consumed as shots. As it happens from time to time someone quits early and leaves their glass partially drained. The glass in this case was a plastic copy or the traditional shot glass. After sitting for a time the revelers noticed the glass changing color where the rum was in contact. When they went to pick up the glass for closer inspection it fractured along the line of the liquid.

It turns out that the alcohol is leaching and dissolving the plastic of the faux shot glass. Creating a killer cocktail. How deadly you ask. Dunno yet... I happened to have some Everclear (190 proof) and some 80 proof corn whiskey that were to become casualties of the upcoming move. They have been donated to the research to toxic shots. Over the winter break Dr. David Young will be researching the various extras contributed to shots consumed from said containers.

Aerinys tells me of a similar discovery regarding plastic in the microwave.

Wiggly Waggly Wednesday - Kudos to Rob

2005-11-18T19:19:28Z

There are times when a little help is needed in choosing what to wear for the day. I find the need for help quite often. In order to guide my choice I had been playing with theme days. Monochrome Mondays and Textural Tuesdays. These are quite simply what they sound like. Focus on wearing all one color on Mondays and choosing apparel that provides a fun time for the touch inclined. Then my creativity ran out.

Wiggly Waggly Wednesdays was born this week out of the mind of my friend Rob. For some time he and I had been tossing about the notion of wearing kilts to work, and it so happened that this past Wednesday was the time. We met for lunch where Rob produced the newly coined WWW moniker. Seeing the value of the notion I added it to my weekly suggested dressing. Not sure how much variation will be possible, and I'd hate for it to degenerate into simply going commando on hump day. Oh well three days down and four to go.

I suppose that Stay in bed Sundays would work, and alleviate the need for dressing.

The adventure begins

2005-10-27T13:18:13Z

The night before a journey is always the most hectic. Anticipation and packing hit their frenzied peak. I am so not looking to my return as my apartment has the looking of being given a good going over by thugs from a B grade movie out to impress their boss by being especially energetic in the dispersal of items about my apartment (at least they did not pee on my rug). But on the upside, dishes are washed and put away.

I am at work for a few hours, just because I guess. I am not likely to focus on too much other than the passing of the minutes.

bed vs couch.. bed wins!! It was nice to be back in mine, the couch was not a pleasant place. Noopy is doing well as are his owners. They returned yesterday with tales of foot deep snowfalls, freezing weather, yeti sightings - gave me chills. We are to reconcile accounts the next time I journey to the midwest.

At least it is donut day.